Hey

vapor-man:

Australians: m8
Pirates: m80

(via thatsthat24)

fox-prxncess:

Right now, at this very moment it is 11:07pm, the 23rd of March, 2015. I am sitting on my bed, more wide awake than ever, more anxious than ever, more disoriented than ever, and sadder than ever. I have no one else to blame other than myself, and the malicious, toxic, life-changing narcotic; Marijuana.
75 days ago, I smoked weed for the fourth time in my life, and quite frankly, definitely my last time. I have not been the same since that day, and I am convinced that I won’t ever be the same again. I guess you’re feeling curious about what actually happened, so I’ll give you a run through of what that night was like.
I was with my best friend (I have chosen to keep her name out of this for confidentiality reasons), we had planned to get high and have a really good night and eat pizza and stuff, normal teen stuff you know? So, she and I were rookies when it came to weed, we didn’t really know how much would make us high so we just smoked whatever we had. So we rolled 3 joints and we chain smoked them all within the matter of 5 minutes. If you have any knowledge on weed, then you would know that that quantity is way too much for somebody who isn’t a frequent smoker at all. So, surely, within a matter of minutes, my heart began having palpitations, I couldn’t stand up, my sight was blurred and I no longer felt like I was myself. I can assure you that this night was and still is the most terrifying experience I have ever had to endure. I began hyperventilating and crying and naturally, my friend began panicking too. I screamed and screamed at her trying to explain what was wrong with me; however I had incredible difficulty in describing what it was like having a panic attack, as it was my first time. Eventually after about 30-60 minutes of utter confusion and researching methods to stop it, I passed out, clenched to her in bed because everywhere all over my body burnt. The next morning I woke up, still feeling quite airy, however I just put it down to still being high; I was wrong. That day went smoothly, I was thinking “wow! I got out of this weird experience without getting into trouble!”, until mum left the house and I began to describe what happened, to my sister.
(Just to clarify, I have discovered that talking and thinking about the attacks trigger them to happen, so at the moment I am burning all over and everything is flashing around me, so please excuse the mistakes if there are any)
So of course, I told my sister what had happened and I began to have the panic attack again. This time, I called my mum and she knew exactly what I had done. She came home to me with scratch marks and bite marks all up my arms. I don’t necessarily remember doing them, but I do remember having the thoughts of harming myself so that maybe I can feel something for once. Anyway, that night I slept for 14 hours straight and the next morning, mum took me shopping to get school supplies. Yep, you guessed it, the shopping and people everywhere triggered me to begin disorienting which led me to have a panic attack, resulting in mum getting extremely angry and driving all the way back home, yelling and screaming at me telling me how much I had messed up and that I just needed to get over it because it was just in my head (well, duh mum, it isn’t in my toes). Great, my mum didn’t believe me, my brother and sister found it funny and my step father hated me. I felt so alone in my own home- I had no one. So as a result of this, I resorted to self-harm to help me feel like I was actually here. The self-harm method didn’t last very long, as I was remaining numb the whole time, so I became a ghost. School came along and all I would do was mope around, nothing was happy, everything was either neutral or sad. I was seeing a social worker that was no help at all, so I began cancelling a lot instead of facing her about my issues because I simply had no energy to deal with anything. Life was becoming living hell.
Toward the end of Term 1 of grade 12, it became a lot worse. I began having more panic attacks due the level of stress I had. I easily had 3500 words worth of assessment finals due in a matter of days and I hadn’t yet submitted drafts for either of them. I had a panic attack in front of a teacher while she was confronting me for my lack of effort put into my assessment, she was clearly remorseful and she tried to help me out as much as possible. However, I still had people looking at me as If I was a weirdo, crying and shaking over nothing. My stress only increased from this moment.
Right now, at this very moment it is 11:53pm, the 23rd of March, 2015. I am sitting on my bed, more wide awake than ever, more anxious than ever, more disoriented than ever, and sadder than ever. I have not slept properly for almost 2 weeks straight, I have lost friendships, I have failed subjects, I have more stress pimples than ever, I can’t breathe properly anymore, I have developed dark circles, I can’t move my limbs properly, I can’t write steadily anymore, teachers no longer respect me because of my lack of effort, and lastly, everyone thinks that I am over-exaggerating and attention seeking. Life for me, is living hell, and it is all because of my naïve decision making and marijuana.
If I could wish for anything, I would wish to give myself this knowledge of how toxic marijuana is these days, prior to that night, 75 days ago. I am writing this for the purpose of educating others that even though marijuana is “just a plant” it is also contaminated of way too many harmful toxins that can do to you, what it did to me. Another piece of advice I would like to give to whoever took the time to read this, that you should never, ever, ever mix any narcotics with mental illnesses.
Thank you for reading this if you did, I hope this has changed your views on marijuana.

(via fox-prxncess)